you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
