i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
