so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Randomize
