I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
