too bad you live with your parents still
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think i got beer on your cat.
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