Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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