I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
