Did you just see the Batmobile???
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize