After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
