i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
