i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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