I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
