I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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