Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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