Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
