Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
