Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
