I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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