You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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