I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
