Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
