I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
