Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
