Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
