He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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