Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
