It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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