You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
