Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Dicks are not precious.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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