im about as happy as oj after his trial
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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