I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
