I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
