Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
