you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
