still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
