I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
