Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
