First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
