I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize