Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We talked him into tasing himself.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
