just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
