weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just googled if crying burns calories
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
