how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
