I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
