tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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