Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
