Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
