I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
