So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
