You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
two words: eviction party
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize