Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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