I wish I could teleport
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
