barbara walters just said penis...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
