I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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