matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
