After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
