My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
