When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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