WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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