last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
