Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't deserve a penis
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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