I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
