so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
